you guys were way drunker than both of me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
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I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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