i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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