dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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