Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
