Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
