The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think I have vodka in my lungs
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
