at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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