Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize