A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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