I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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