Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
