Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
