one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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