no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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