He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
