I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
