Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
