I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
