I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
