? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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