Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
