If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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