i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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