I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
