I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
