He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
