I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
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You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
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Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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