im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you will always have a special place in my vag
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
