Moan for me like Helen Keller
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
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Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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