these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
