I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
