How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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