i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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