Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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