I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize