ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
