Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Randomize
