I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize