So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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