Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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