After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
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Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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