my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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