Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
