Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize