So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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