your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
