The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My ass is underappreciated
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
