Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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