I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
