I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
is it fun? or sober?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
