i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You ate ashes out of my bong
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
