I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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