you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize