her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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